Hello it’s me. Well, you actually. What I mean is, it’s us.
Consider me a voice from the future or even a guardian angel.
Something protected us during those hard times. Maybe the power of a future version of ourselves saw us through … or does that sound weird?
Those stone steps and iron railings leading up to the junior entrance of the old school building still loom in front of our eyes.
It was like a fatal attraction to hover around them, even though we knew Miss Helliwell had absolutely forbidden anyone to enter during playtime.
Too late! The two older girls who were her henchmen grabbed us and pulling us roughly by the elbow and cardigan dragged us up the steps.
That fear, the ice that immediately coursed through our guts. The tears and trembling that overtook us. ‘We’re going to tell Miss Helliwell!’ What an apt name .
She came in all her darkness. A formidable figure with short steel grey hair and a sallow complexion.
Her clothes were monotone and made of coarse material, thick woollen stockings and black serviceable shoes. She screamed, ‘Kneel down with your hands on your head, face the corner.’
It was too late to stop the hot trickle of urine that flowed down our legs and wet our socks and turned into a cold puddle on the floor. A pool of shame.
Time seemed to stop. The two girls smirked and went out. The sounds of children shouting and playing drifted into the cold cloakroom.
Our thoughts turned to other children who had been punished. Children dragged from their seats.
Poor Bryan Wilkinson with his skinny legs covered by a network of red veins from the cold, getting spanked by the ruler. He writhed to avoid the whack but she gripped him firmly.
We went home that afternoon feeling hollow inside .
We can’t remember what she taught, being in a permanent state of fear.
Keep it in! Don’t ask to go to the toilet. Sit immobile. Shrink and be unnoticed.
The pain was unbearable and we fainted. The headmistress had us sent home. That was the turning point when thankfully someone realised that our physical illness was a direct result of emotional turmoil.
So you see. I was there for us. We observed. We were silent but we grew up.